Web Review

We will now start to review blogs from our main base... some of them.

WEEKLY A2 STOLEN BY CPU SCUM!

WEEKLY A2 HAS BEEN STOLEN BY ROUGE BIO-TERRORIST GANG'S CPU GANG BOSS SHAUN SEAH...! AN EXCHANGE WILL BE HELD ON 23-01-2009; THE WEEKLY A2 FOR CPU MAGAZINE CLASSWATCH, WHICH HAS BEEN DULLED DUE TO WEEKLY A2 BEING POPULAR.

THE CPU ASSHOLES STOOPS SO LOW AS TO STEAL IT, SO AS A COUNTER-MEASURE, WE HERE AT WEEKLY A2 USED ev09 SPONSERS TO SWIPE THE UNPOPULAR CLASSWATCH.

THIS HERE PROVES THAT ALL CPU ARE RETARDED SCUM WHO ARE JEALOUS OF WEEKLY A2, THE BETTER NEWSPAPER.

YOU SUCK, CPU SCUM!

2.5 Ho has Balls! (CAMP EDITION)

After bathing with Ho, CPU Gang Boss Shaun dispells rumours that Ho, resident class geek, does not have a, well, you know... You get it, eh? So all remember, Ho does have 'that'.... In all of your faces!
The underline for this article:
"Balls to You, Ho!"

-Alex

2.4 Trip to Orphanage (CAMP EDITION)

First day of the P6 Camp was spent on a 45 minute ferry ride, pitching tents and visiting an orphanage in a more rural area (for our Community Involvement Project). Sand was flying around in strong gusts of wind, and hurt the eyes of pupils (pun intended).

The children there looked happy and sociable despite their poor living conditions, something to be admired, unlike most CPU scum. We had a good time playing with them, except for the whirling sand which forced my to wear my blue-tinted goggles and embarrass myself in front of the entire orphanage.

-Alex

Weekly 2: Entertainment and Info Page

Country of the Week's Language: English (Slang)

Hello - Yo
Grandpa- 'G'
Old Man- Old Timer
Friend - Dude

Weekly Jap Words:
EXTENDED

ko
-child

ryu
-dragon

gomu
-rubber

kage
-shadow

Weekly Taekwondo Move (By amateurs, for amateurs!):
Back Fist

1. Tuck under left arm

2.Swing it outward forcefully

2.3 Weekly A2 Announcement

Weekly A2's next two days' reports are going to be about the events of the 3D 2N camp in Batam, Indonesia. Articles are going to be based on it, so since we at Weekly A2 can't do anything about it, might as well enjoy it.
And writing time is limited, so a day-to-day account is not that common.
Good (3) days and (2) nights!

-Alex

2.2 Interview with Eu Su Lynn

This interview was held at reccess by Alex, who put his life on the line (Su Lynn was surrounded by many gangsters such as Jamie) to hold this interview for Zhao. Enjoy, though it ain't much.

Q: What do you think of terrorist group CPU
A: *Laughs

Q: Hello? Can I ask you some questions?
A: *Laughs *Coughs
ALX: ...

Q: Okay... never mind that. Can I?
A: *Coughs. Okay!

Q: ... Do you like Andrew (Zhao Bo)?
A: No!

Q: What do you think of bioterrorist group CPU?
A: I don't know... I'm calling the police.

Q: What for?
A: For disturbing me.

This pre-paid interview an accepted job ended with laughs. Andrew's gonna kill me when he finds out about this 'interview'.

-Alex

2.2 Andrew hires Weekly to interview civillian

FIA Leader Andrew Zhao Bo has hired Weekly to interview civillian Eu Su Lynn for $1.50.
He also agrees to pay an additional $1.40 for any physical injury. The offer has been accepted and the interview is on the following page (next article).

-Alex

2.1 Shaun tries to manipulate Jeff!

After breaking the peace treaty, CPU Reich Marshall and 'Gang Boss'
shaun tries to convince NKA Head Jeff that Alex, NKA Asst Head and ev09 Leader, is planning to throw a coup against him. He also wanted revenge for the public humiliation which Alex exacted on him ( See 1.8 Shaun loses Struggle and Breaks Treaty)
But with Andrew, FIA Leader, and Alex around, Shaun's revenge was unfufiled. Evil mobs of savages would never prevail over true justice!
Or at least united groups.

-Alex

1) Weekly Top 9

1. QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
'You heard about the genetic cross between a pig and a prawn? They're calling it
Shaun.'

2.RECOMMENDED
WEBSITE OF THE
WEEK:
www.onemanga.com

3.EDIBLE THING OF
THE WEEK:
Korean Spicy Udon Instant Noodles

4.INSULT OF THE
WEEK:
'Don't worry, you're a shrimp now but one day you'll be short'

5.TOP VERBAL FIGHT
OF THE WEEK:
'Trianglehead' Jia Qi vs 'Pighead' Shaun

6.ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK:
Adolf Hitler, He who started World War II

7.TOP PHYSICAL FIGHT OF
THE WEEK:
Shaun 'The Praun' vs. Alex 'The Yank'
8.MANGA OF
THE WEEK:
One Piece, by Eiichiro Oda
ワンピース, by 尾田 栄一郎

9. COUNTRY OF THE WEEK:
Japan, The Land of The Rising Meatball

1.9 School War gets published!

School War, a half-fiction short book based on the author's, Alex, third grade experiences. While characters and events are mostly fictional, scenarios are real and have happened in 3S, resident gangster-filled (Shaun, Isaac, Ming Ta, Shang Hong) class.
Anyways, the author and his parents have signed a contract for e-publishing on the Young Author's Scheme Website. 50 or 15 out of 300 puplis... the odds aren't that high, but the book made it anyway as it was, well, brilliant.
You people out there, support School War by reading it online! You won't regret it!

By The Way;
Shaun's book, The Primary Experience, wasn't published because though the book was good, the ending was suckish.

-Alex, author of School War and The Yank

1.8 Shaun Loses Struggle and Breaks Treaty

Fists flew and pain surged through various body parts after an incident sparked by a bag of Original Flavour Potato Chips.
After school on Friday, Shaun had attempted to snatch Alex Goh's pack of chips. That resulted a whole packet of fine-quality potato chips spilled all over the grass. $1.20 wasted just like that. Food has to be respected, and Alex wasn't about to take that lying down.
A brawl was soon to ensure. After miscellaneous dodging and grabbing, one of us got pissed off real hard, and then the fight got slightly more serious. A ferocious struggle exploded.
Finally, Alex managed to slam hard on Shaun and pin him down before landing the finishing blow. With $1.20 taken from the bruised gangster to compensate for the chips, the ending was rather neutral.

-Alex

1.7 Psst! Psst! Jamie likes *Censored*

This article was too severly torn up by Jamie for me to write anything down on this website. Blame me not, blame that 'Reptilian Female Dog'.

-Person who does not want to die

1.6 Sher Mein can't stop 'flirting' with Ho!

Everyone one knows that 'Sumo Wrestler' Sher Mein has a strong crush on reident class geek Ho, the poor thing, who is completely aware and fearful of her.
It has endured two years of avoiding and running, since fourth grade, and proof of it is still evident. She talks to Ho (who turns away), stares at Ho (endearingly), and never hits Ho (unlike what she does to many poor souls), clearly signs of love.
One example is; when her pencil case is snatched by Kiran, she retaliates with brute force and power, but when her pencil case is tossed to Ho, who looks shocked, Sher Mein returns to her seat, and stares at the poor geek dreamily. Goosebumps.
God help Ho.

-Alex

1.5 The Testimonies of the 'Hollow Pig's Head Prawn' vs. 'The Reptilian Female Dog'

Shaun, the 'Hollow Pig-Headed Prawn'and Jamie, the 'Reptilian Female Dog', face off once again... in front of Mrs Foo's desk.
They had been in a downright childish duel of the savage, barbarianic prefects which had resulted in the floor cover with prawnspit-infected water and a lemon-green tea on all of Shaun's personal belongings.
The cavemen-brained, violent prefects were asked to give their testimonies to Mrs Foo, and after experiencing many fights before in third grade, I predicted that the whole thing would end with some apologizing and returning to seats.
Man, I was right. How appropriate for the legendary clash.

-Alex

1.5 Organization Data (2/4)

Name: Central Protection Unit
Leader: Reich Marshal '2nd Hitler' Shaun Seah
Motto: All blacks are sub-human
Apparent goal: To rid the world of blacks
Affiliation: Nazi, Hitler, Racism

CPU has been running for less than a year, after Shaun closed down the previous one after breaking a peace treaty by assaulting NKA head Jeff Kok.
It is a bioterrorism group of savage gangsters who want to rid the world, if not the class, of his fantasy 'sub-humans', Indians!!! Their leader is a red-faced violet freak, by the way.

1.5 Organization Data (1/4)

Name: Secret Intelligence Unit
Leader: Shaun Seah
Motto: ?
Apparent goal: To close down CPU by the half of 2009
Affiliation: NKA, FIA, CPU, MI6

SIU is probably a side-branch of CPU, or its bluff. Shaun uses it to try and get FIA and NKA to work with him, them double-cross ém and close them down.
EVIL '09 has confirmed it to be a non-active threat to society.

Weekly 1: Entertainment and Info Page

Country of the Week's Language: Japanese

Old man - jii-jii
Old hag - baa-baa, Ohbasan
Grandpa - jii-chan
Grandma- baa-chan

Weekly Japanese Words:

baka
-stupid, idiot

dattebayo (This is used to end a sentence)
-y'know?

Top 5: NIL
No polls were conducted yet.

Weekly Taekwondo Move (By amateurs, for amateurs!):
Slamming Kick

Step 1:
-Right leg pulled back, guard front with left hand.

Step 2:
-Raise your right leg up and over you head, or chest, at least.

Step 3:
-Slam it down

1.4 Jab causes pain for inflicted

Ah, Shaun is making the news for the first week of Weekly A2 2009! Today, after accidently being hit in the foot, he decides to jab his so-called assailant in the chest.
But as his arm came into contact with calcium-enriched bone of a inward block by his supposed assailiant, it was he who was experiencing pain and anguish. For muscle will never defeat hard, solid, calcium-enforced bones.
In your face, Seah!

-Alex

1.3 Interview With Andrew Zhao Bo

A great honour it is to interview the leader of FIA, the person who made Shaun cry throughout 2008, the international citizen Andrew Zhao Bo! This interview was conducted while walkin down several flights of steps during dismissal. As I tell him of the interview, he waves his fist threateningly for a warning for dumb questions. Scary.

Q: Why did you start FIA?
A: Because (terrorist gang) CPU was cbeating up civilians- Ow! *What the bloody f*ck?!
(I'm recording that.)

Q: Do you think Shaun is retarded?
A: Yes, he is. For Desiree, CPU, rascism, war, he is retarded. In other areas he's not.

Q: We all know a swastika is affiliated with the Nazi flag, and that the Nazi flag's affiliated with CPU, so why is it in the FIA symbol?
A: Oh, you see, FIA was once a branch of CPU, so when we split, we decided to keep the swastika.

So you see, Mr Zhao Bo has given us a good interview. We thank you!

1.3 Shaun did not break Treaty

Central Protection Unit, a terrorist racism-based gang, Leader Shaun Seah almost had the National Kids Association and the Federation of Independant Assasins initiate an attack on the two-man group. (Two man as in Shaun and his ego)
His ex-CPU member Prabakaran 'Potong Kuran' Kiran was alledgedly spying for Shaun. On Monday, the three heads signed a peace treaty, one of the terms being 'no espionage'.
The treaty was to be taken into action when Kiran quit at the 10.00am reccess bell. After a short debate between the three groups, Shaun was found to have not broken the peace treaty somehow. Bribery is suspected.
-Alex

1.2 Steup on Two Week's Leave

05-1-2009
With 6A2's form teacher, the Chew Sher Mein-lookalike Charmaine Steup(pronounced stoyp) on two weeks leave for an operation, the class is left in the hands of Mrs Doreen Foo, the stand-in form teacher, or 'Sudo Form' .
Foo promises to memorize all of the students' names by the second friday of 2009, and who doubts her? No signs of tyrannical outbursts have been spotted from her, which leaves Weekly relieved greatly.
The notorious CPU, a gang of savage Nazi-crazy maniacs and publisher of fellow newsletter Classwatch, remains at large, though tey have not been active recently. Let's hope they all die a death in the honour of the least honourable bastard Hitler.

-Alex

1.1 Quarrel of ' Pighead' and ' Trianglehead'

05-01-2009
As the period after a thirty-minute break from all hellish activities such as class went on, Shaun and Jia Qi fought like 'Hollow Pig's Heads' and 'Triangleheads' Some parts of the conversation were recorded here...

SHN: Your brain's vacuum!
JQ: Your brain is like a lemon!
SHN: Don't discriminate against lemons!

SHN: Pigs are smarter than majority of mammals.
JQ: I'm not saying-
SHN: You said that I was-
ALX: I think she's saying that you're a hollow dead pig's head
SHN: !!!

Weekly A2 Ver 1.0 [2009]

Weekly A2's First Edition, or WEEKLY A2 VERSION 1.0 [2009], which can also be called Weekly, is starting a soft copy of the original class newletter, and it now has its own official website. The people mentioned in this website are completely real, though all insults may be applied to them on the original newsletter, it does not mean any offence on the web.
Of course, the original is always better, but until we get a real spot on the web, this will do. G'day, people and sub-human fatasses who stink.

-Alex